Russell Brand's guide to life

"Do you have that sense that something is missing? A feeling in your gut that you're not good enough? That if you tick off some action, whether it's eating a Twix, buying shoes, smoking a joint or getting a good job, you will feel better?"

I happened to attend the Virtual Success Summit hosted by Tony Robbins where popular stars have shared their messages like Tom Brady, Jay Shetty, Russell Brand, Will.I.AM , Pitbull  and many others. I have summarized the learnings from Russell Brand's message which can inspire us all.

In his talk, he brilliantly makes us aware of our dependencies and shares his life journey. Here is what I learn from him,

We adapt to the misery of an unloving home, of unfulfilling work, of empty friendships and lacquered alienation. The 12 step program will change the life of anyone who embraces it. If your personal pattern happens to be the addiction equivalent of the 'long form con-trick' , as opposed to a 'short grift', it can take ages to know just what your problem is.

The steps taken to overcome chemical dependencies (drugs) can be applied to life in general.

After a week on drugs, you realize problems you are dealing with are problems of self esteem, difficulty in relationships, problems with the way you see yourself, problems at work. 

Don’t we lean on chocolate to fulfill an emotional need? (Think about it, don’t you?)

Prior to drug addiction, he had behavioral attachments to objects and behaviors that were fulfilling an emotional need. We all have bio-chemical drives to eat, achieve and various other things.

Now, fulfillment is impossible.

(Rap in your head)

No external thing can ever fulfill you. No relationship, no opinion, no validation, verification that I acquire from another person can ever make me feel better about yourself.

(Rap ends)

 

In his book titled ‘Recovery – Freedom from our addictions’, Russell Brand shares his recovery from drug addiction and states how addictions are like habits in life and connects it deeper to our emotional needs, behavioral aspects and outlines the steps that can help to recover specifically from chemical dependencies and to get out of any life situation you are stuck-in or any form of your messed-up. He says if in any way you think are a bit fucked, this can help you. Our way of coping with anxiety of uncertainty is to find distractions and pleasures( a secret? we can change that).

In his words,

"In this book we will discuss, with me doing most of the talking, how we can overcome our destructive and oppressive habits, be liberated from tyrannical thinking and move from the invisible inner prison of addiction to a new freedom in the present."

Giving an example, I have identified I have emotional fear of not being enough and that is a messed-up trait in me that influences my behavior and so his book and his methods can help me identify the roots and remove them.

The steps outlined are not just to get you of a mess; it is more like a self-exploration journey, a journey from unconsciousness to consciousness, from unawareness to awareness.

1.   Admit you are a bit fucked in some aspect of your life. Admit you have a problem.

2.We have been subjected to social paradigms, emotional paradigms and physical paradigms since our birth. And eventually, they start defining us and we accept them. But they have been projected to us by our society, our environment. They are not what we are. Once you realize that there is hope to change, you begin your journey. Most of the problems get solved when we live by Maharishi's guiding statement, 'Do what you know to be right. Don’t do what you know to be wrong.'

We have come to realize that a power greater than us can restore us to sanity.

Mentorship is vital component in journey of self discovery and self betterment. Support of community is crucial. One thing that you get from practicing a program with other people is you acknowledge a kind of comradery and oneness and love between us. All of us have at some point felt inadequate, worthless, all of us have had our heart broken, and all of us have experienced grief and loss. We get strength and support in community that comes around on the basis of vulnerability. I mean it is sort of comforting to know that “we are all crazy in here, just not on the same day.”

We are living a limited curated animalistic reality based on our limited senses. So if we are not enjoying it, there is huge possibility of change.

3. Turn yourself to a higher intelligence. It takes a huge burden off you. It is like asking for help.           You can turn towards to your mentors, your community, God (as you understood God), universe.         Believe in something that is bigger than you and cares for you. It’s not easy to unfuck yourself             on your own. The third step is asking for help. It has mystical and spiritual reference. 

4.  Inventorying process

Inventory your entire life. Note down all resentments, regrets, fears since childhood. It is important to be aware and understand the impact of these events; otherwise they continue to influence your behavior and decisions. Inventorying helps you to understand how you participate in your misery, how you perpetuate your own misery, how it influences the decisions that you make today. It is a way of revealing unconscious attitudes.

So it goes like this. Prepare five columns

I resent	Because	This Affects	My part	Character defects
List a person, place or thing (whatever is bothering you)	Write your reasons	Pride (what I think you think about me) Self esteem (what I think about myself)   Personal relations (the script I give   others, expectations of their behavior)   Sexual relationships (not necessarily with the person, but even using sex to feel better)   Ambitions (what I want in life, my overall vision of ‘perfect’ self)   Security (what I need to survive)   Finances (money and how it affects my feelings)	(how I participate in my misery)     Mistakes   Selfishness   Dishonesty   Self-seeking   Fear ( underlying the   resentment)   Harm (has anyone been harmed as a result of this resentment)	(what gets triggered in you)   Pride Self pity Selfishness Self-centeredness Intolerance Impatience Greed Gluttony Jealousy Envy sloth Lust Arrogance Dishonesty Self-righteousness Grandiosity

 

Envy is awareness of my own unrealized potential projected onto another.

5.   It is advisable to do the inventorying process with someone, a mentor perhaps. It is not to be practiced alone. Now when you read the entire fifty pages of it to someone, everything you have ever resented, everything you have ever feared, a new sense of acceptance comes over you, an awareness. You feel relieved. So step five is sharing it with someone. 

6.   Revealing the patterns. Identifying the patterns in the way you fuck up. Identify your behaviors and patterns to become more conscious and aware. 

7.  Are you willing to live in a new way that is not all about you and different from your previous fucked up pattern? You have to. This has a spiritual intersection too. 

8.Take responsibility of your action and behavior. Make a list of people you have harmed and make amends with them. 

9.  Then forgive people who have wronged you. It is freeing. And I realize it is very difficult to forgive them but you have to do it for yourself. 

10. Stay awake. Watch out for your fucked-up behavior and when it happens, be honest to acknowledge it.

11.Form conscious contact with a higher power of your understanding through prayer and meditation. Stay connected to your new perspective.

12. Take what you have learned and be of service to others. Look at life less selfishly.

 

Hear Russell talk about the 12 steps in this video,

You are in for an adventure if you read the book.

To get brief insights from the book on the steps, read this.

Now, these 12 steps were originally created in 1930s , they have been reframed in blunt street language by Russell Brand and kept free from religious references.

I believe in God and I find it relaxing to believe that he is taking care of me. You can look up to someone you believe in, possibly universe or energy. Your understanding of God can be different

I admit I am fucked-up in my own way and I have fears to deal with. I am going to follow the steps and if you want to do this journey, I request you to find someone to do the inventorying process with and if you cannot do that, please feel free to reach out to me. I want to be a part of your journey.

 

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